Thirst :Hot Task

In class we read a book called thirst, our task was to create a ending for the rest of the story, we had to use figurative language and show not tell, I think I did these things ok but still need to work on them .

Thirst

 

The suns rays shone brightly upon the parched  land. Ryder ran to the nearest tree, he didn’t want his father to find him because he knew what was coming for him. ‘Ryder come here now’ His father’s voice thunder threw the bush. ‘There is nothing wrong with telling the truth please come here’  Slowly the bright sun was falling from the sky, like ice-cream dripping off the cone. Ryder sat near by in his sisters tree house that they built together and he knew one day it would come in handy. ‘Ryder please come back home’ His  dad said, the thoughts were a like a flood rushing threw his mind, they swept all the good things away and flushed it down the sink.  The birds flew around, barley holding themselves up, struggling to stay alive. There wings looked like beaten scarpes, their feet  grazed like a child's knee and their faces were bare with no life in them, no sense of happiness to be alive. There were cow,sheep and bird carcass lying around under dead trees. The sun became the moon and the light became dark, Ryder was like a night owl lying awake in the tree house, he could rest for he knew none of which lived out here. His sister lay awake aswell, wrapped up in her nice warm blankets just waiting for Ryder to creep in her door like he usually did.  The next morning Ryder woke to a bird perched on his foot chirping a little song. Brooke woke to a nice hot chocolate from her mother. ‘Brooky? Do you know where your brother would go my love, it is very important that we find him’ Brooke said nothing and she planned to continue as she was

            

Ryder shuddered as he approached the house, the fear of his father seeping through is skin. It had been two days since he left and he grew angry with himself for staying away. ‘Ryder? Is that you? OH Ryder!’ his mother exclaimed ‘Oh where have you been? Are you hurt? You need water? Oh I am so sorry we have no water sorry,’Then his father appeared at the door ‘Dad,’ he acciantly said out loud ‘Son where have you been? Come inside and lets talk’ Ryders hands shook and he took a big breath. Inside his dad asked questions, ‘So why son? Why would you do that to yourself? No doubt your hungry or thirsty and even if I can’t fix it I wish I could,’ Dad said feeling so helpless ‘It wasn’t enough? How? It should have been,’Ryder was so disappointed, he felt like a failure. His dad gazed at him as he walked slowly, very slowly toward his room, he could not bear to think what he put his parents through and for no reason, he didn’t even help them. ‘Ryder your home! I missed you!’ Brooke yelled as he walked past, she held out her arms only to leave them hanging like empty branches,dead branches. Ryder could not understand why this happened and he didn’t really want to, he knew his father would panish him sooner or later. But what about the Carters? Would they every want revenge on him and his family? He thought these things as he slowly drifted off to sleep on his comfy bed. 

Early the next morning his mother came in with a big tray of food and a letter. ‘Who is the letter from?’ He asked full of curiosity ‘ It is from the Carters family,’ His mother whispered as she handed him the letter, ‘just read it,’ He took the letter from his mother and read,

Dear Ryder,

I know you are properly feeling very guilty and to be honest you should be, Because you stole from us I think it is only fair for you to pay us back, so I would like you to come and work with me for 2 months and then you are done with us. We know are short of water but thanks to you we understand that people are dying slowly from no water and I feel terrible that you and your family have no water so…………. We are going to protest in order to stop people from paying for them to live.

Kind Regards 

The Carters 

Ryder turned to his mother and said, ‘ They want me to work for them for two months and thats it,’ He glanced at his mother and then back at the letter, what was he to do. That day was a day that Ryder would never forget and also a day that he learnt his lesson. Although his father was not happy about what had happened he did not punish him ,but like the letter said the Carters were sure to. His eyes burnt like lava, he felt like he was about to erupt and all the lava would fall done.

Drought

 I class we have been learning how to write narrative and show not tell.... this is about Ryder and his family in the middle of a drought.

Now you see it, now you don't

I have been learning to use show not tell to make my narrative interesting.

To do this I have used our model text to support me with these things, smilies, metaphors, punction, onomatopoeia, idioms, and Alliteration. It is a longish list but I want to get my writing in the right place.

I worked with Calaya to re-write this story 

 The Rip                                          

There were two brothers who were not at all alike;  they were different in every way. The younger brother always stayed on the sand. The older brother was always in the water. The older brother liked to swim with his bros, diving , tumbling, bombing,  snorkling and surfing in the waves. During the day the older brother liked to go on lots of adventures but the younger brother would stay safe on the sand. Sometimes the older brother would creep up to the younger brother and drag him into the water. “Oh come on you little chicken, it’s only waves,” teased the older brother.     

One morning their mother got angry with them “ like a cat and a mouse!” she yelled “out you go together”, she said, “and try be nice to each other for once. Why did you have to come?” Jack moaned.” I didnt want to come. I dont even like the water. “Your such a baby! Your afraid of the water!” The older brother left him and went for a swim. “Hey! Come here!” he yelled a little while late. Gingerly, James walked over to see what he wanted,” come on just jump in for once” Jack splashed him, He froze in place. “N-no, you didnt just splash me”. James imagining all the horrible things it could lead to… “Ah! You’re lame”, said jack as  James walked away back to making his sand castles.

James waited for Jack to get out of the water. Fear gripped his heart. Tears threatened to burst from his eyes. What could he do? He had to follow him into the water.The water was light blue, seaweed floating and children laughing. He found himself tangled up in seaweed - there was no sign of his brother. Quivering, he saw his brother going further out. Fish, stingrays and sharks - what other creatures could be lurking here? His mind longed to turn back, but his heart would not let him. He could not leave - for what would become of his brother? “Brother! Where are you? He yelled as he ran. The more he ran, the more he wanted to get him help for his brother and to get him out of the water. 

Fiece wind whipped through the sand. He continued to struggle through the seaweed as he calling for help for his brother. Just when he knew he couldn’t swin on, he was released from the seaweed. There in front of him was his brother just floating there lifeless. He swam to his brother and wrapped his cold arms around him and held tight. As he ran back holding his brother in his arms, he was slowly coming back to life.

They ran back up onto the bright golden sand, through the cutty grass , into the lifeguard station,and out again. Together. When they reached home, their mother was setting the table. “Hello”, she said “you two seem very quiet. “Is everything alright?” James smiled at his brother. Jack smiled back.

Do you want to explore the water cycle?

This week we have been learning about the water cycle and how it all works. I think that scientists are very smart and I hope you find this very interesting. 

Health "Just because your not sick doesn't mean your healthly"

 We have been learning about health and how even if you are physically healthy doesn't mean mentally healthy. 

Plan gone wrong

In our class we do "Cold Tasks" to find out the things we already know. Our cold task was on a narritive writing. This is a snap shot of what I can do in 30 mins by myself. 

We are also learning to do self assiments on our work so we can see things that we need to work on.

Name: Summer

10:30 

The trailer rattled behind the ute as we drove 12 calves back to Old Oak Farms, our farm. The rain battered on the roof, coming down heavily on the calves.“ Where are the calves gonna go Aunty?” I yelled at the top of my lungs, trying to make sure Aunty could hear me. “They're going down by the river!”  She screeched back. My brother and I still had jobs to do after this, like moving two mobs of  heifers and one mob of milkers. The calves went willingly into the paddock and started to grave quietly. “ Come on lil sis,” Dylan said as he ruffled my hair, “ We have heifers to move,” 

12:40

The rain continued to come down harshly and my brother and I couldn’t take it anymore. The cows stood at the gate, but they weren’t going through, it was  as if they could not see it was open. “ Come on girls! Let's go!”  I yelled, but yet there was no response, they just wouldn’t move. “ Summer, come here and listen!” My brother yelled from the quad “ Listen I am going to tie a bit of rope to the tow bar and you are going to hold it, then I’m gonna put balayage on top of you and then they will definitely come!” 

“ Um no!” I declared, I was most certainly not going to get dragged behind the quad, “ Come on Summer it will be fine I promise,”  Dylan reassured me. 

1:00

“ This is so uncomfortable,”   I complained. I was still uncertain about this but I thought why not have an adventure and some fun.  Now I was lying down on the grass, cows and balayage all around me. The start of the ride was alright and then it got bumpy. We had our game plan and I thought we would stick to it but Dylan had other plans. Driving over rocks was really sore and I felt like I wanted to let go but I couldn’t. I had a big job, so I had to do it. Numb, sore,grazed - shall I let go? I felt like I had no feeling in my body, it was almost like the sharp stones had taken it away from my body. “Dylan I need to let go, you need to stop!” there was no response, of course not he is properly just ignoring me.  Five paddocks later ……… I was still being dragged along the rugged race way, the needle like stones still digging into me. I had to have stamina to complete this task, I had to prove to my brother that I was worthy of being a farmer at only 12 years old. 

1:20 

The paddocks were coming to an end so my painful journey was slowly coming to an end. Mum was speeding behind and yelling. When finally it came to an action packed ending with Dylan almost hitting the gate making my mother probably think that he can never drive again ( He can’t anyways) and I know for a fact that she wouldn’t let him for a very long time. As I slowly rose from the ground the balayage tumbled and scattered all over the dew covered grass, mum came running over and started to push the rest to the ground. The pain was really bad, up to ten at that moment. Rushing back in the car mum was extremely mad ( I hope I survive )       

I am working on how to use personifacation, 2A and 3 bad -sentences and aslo how to use a emtion comma. 

Stuck In The Wilderness

 Last term I worked on a recount about Hatchet the book. I think that Hatchet is inspiring and excited, I don't think there was a time I was thinking ' ugh I don't want to read this' I enjoyed reading this and wish to read it again.

                       Hatchet Novel Response:  Name: Summer Term 1 2022    

  

This story is about Brian Robenson and the pilot of a little bush plane crashing into the Canadian bush.The pilot had a heart attack while they were flying, leaving Brian to fight the plane in order to keep it up.When they hit the ground with force it left Brian to fend for himself for almost a year. All he had was a hatchet that his mother had given him and the dreadful secret from his mother and fathers divorce.

I think the author's message is about not giving up no matter how big or how small you are, you can do anything you put your mind to. The author displayed Brain in the woods alone for almost a year, all he had was one little hatchet that his mother had given  him. He had no Idea what he was doing. With hunting or fishing, he didn’t know how to do anything, yet with that one little hatchet he had made a difference. He learnt how to fish and hunt, he learnt how to make a bow and arrow and he learnt how to make a spear. With that one little hatchet he had built himself a shelter to keep him safe.Brain had been changed while he was in the woods. Even though he was attacked by a moose and hit by a tornado he still managed to rebuild and carry on.

Brain no longer had a television or a cellphone. He had learnt so many things while he was there. It says in the book that Brian had remembered things from school, things like how to make a fire and how to hunt. Brain also remembered that there was a survival pack inside the little plane. While Brian was in the middle of hacking away at the plane he had  dropped his hatchet in the water. He had no idea how deep the water was, he was so mad at himself that he had dropped it. However Brian kept going up and down, from the surface to the bottom of the lake. Just as Brian’s lungs were about to burst he felt the rubber handle to the hatchet and he grabbed it and hit the surface. That goes to show that Brian never gave up.

To summarize the story I would say that Gary Paulson was very smart to send that kind of message to kids my age, as well as adults. It shows that even though Brian was only thirteen he was still able to  build  a shelter and catch fish not to mention he was able to hunt. He was able to survive and live his life in the wild. Through all the pain that he felt after the crash and the moose attack. He was ready to fight for his life. Even if the story is not real I  look up to Brian Robenson.

 

My favorite part of the book is when Brian built a shelter and hunted fool birds, turns out they really are fool birds. I also like when Brian figures out that water bends light so when he was missing the fish it was because he had to aim lower and from then on Brian caught piles of fish. I love this story and I’m so glad Gary Paulson wrote it.